Here are a few of the best I've heard. Some of them are hilariously offensive.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
- "I'll come up with it in a second, just gimme a minute!"
~ My great uncle Kenneth Von Garglefelcher
- "I don't have Asian eyes... I have human eyes."
~ Vajennifer Blemish, a friend of a friend
- "The only bitch I would ever hit is my mom."
~ My roommate Ottavio Eduardo Garbanzo St. Lollipop
Chew on those for a hot minute.